Saturday, February 21, 2015

My Mom used to say...

Sometimes, I get so distracted with everyday-life things and I forget about what really matters. At times, I also seem to lose my way and then, I end up looking for advice in the wrong place: with people who haven't got the slightest idea about life or things that matter; a common mistake I make every now and then. Fortunately, then I remember I also have people who do have an idea about life and real matters, so I go to them and they are good help. 

And then, the best thing happens, I remember how amazing Mom was and how full of true wisdom she was -in spite of being relatively young- and I go back to her old letters, well, more like emails really, but letters sounds more romantic and also, they ARE letters, only presented in electronic form. Anyhow, I go through her old "letters" and then not only do I find comfort in them, in spite of the tears they bring to my eyes every single time I read them, but I remember so many important things I should never forget, such as what life is really about and, I understand so much and, the reasons why I am who I am and the way I am become pretty clear again. I swear I read them and, in a way, it all makes sense, you know what I mean? It's like, I understand again things I had already understood in the past but forgotten lately, so it's a bit like recovering an old piece of me and, at the same time, getting close to Mom again.

These are some of the phrases she said to me and that I've taken to my heart as not only they helped me when she said them at the moment I needed them but because they keep on helping and nurturing me every time I re-read them. 

"¡Cuídate mucho y disfruta cada momento, que la vida es irrepetible!"
(Take care and enjoy every moment, because life is unrepeatable!"
I know that now and that is why I try to enjoy as much as possible every moment.

"Recuerda que la vida usualmente te va llevando de la mano."
(Remember that life usually takes you by the hand." 
It really does, sometimes, through ways I don't know or understand, but usually, to end up in a good place.

"Sabes que estoy muy orgullosa de tí, hagas lo que hagas, estés donde estés, pienses lo que pienses, te quiero mucho mi vida."
(You know that I'm very proud of you; whatever you do, wherever you are, whatever you believe, I love you very much, my love."
This is why I am not afraid to show people I love them, because I was always shown I was loved and cared for. And also, where much of my confidence comes from, I believe.

"Descansa todo lo que puedas, disfruta todo lo que debes, aprende lo mejor que creas, pero sobretodo vive cada momento como mejor te plazca."
(Rest as much as you can, enjoy everything you must, learn what you think is best but, above all, live every moment as you please.)
This is why I am such a free person and why I always do what I want and feel -for good or bad.

"Sabes que siempre estaré para ti, no importa dónde estés ni qué hagas, lo que si es muy importante es que lo que hagas sea porque realmente quieres hacerlo, no por los demás y mucho menos por no querer decepcionar a nadie"
(You know that I'll always be there for you, no matter where you are or what you do, what is really important is that whatever you do, you do it because you really wanna do it, not for anyone else and much less not to disappoint people.)
This is why I know she's, somehow, still with me and why I mostly do, or strive, to do things I am really into and also why -for the most part- I don't care about other people's opinion.

"Cuídate mucho y pidele a Dios lo que deseas, que siempre te escucha y lo sabes."
(Take good care and ask God what you wish for, he's always listening and
you know it.)
This is why, no matter what, I believe in God. She always made sure I knew he's there.

"La vida es como el cáncer...hay días buenos y días malos...lo mejor es disfrutar los primeros y sobrellevar los segundos!"
(Life is like cancer...there are good days and bad days...the best is to enjoy the former and endure the latter!)
This is just the most f*cking amazing thing, cancer is what killed her and there she was, looking at the bright side of things; this is why sometimes I'm hopelessly positive.

So yeah, this is just a bit of who my Mom was and what she taught me. She probably didn't know it then, and neither did I, but all of them are certainly great life lessons that I shall take with me for as long as I live.

Thank you, Mumsy!